I LOVES me some performing at Stone Cow Brewery! Always have! The audience there is always so kind, one of the co-owners - Sean - has become what I would consider to be a friend. I love the scenic drive up through the back roads and picturesque Massachusetts countryside. I've never had a bad show there.

Though this one wasn't bad, it was definitely off. I should make mention that this was not an "official" Stone Cow Brewery show. The Massachusetts Cheese Guild was holding their 2026 Massachusetts Cheese Festival at Stone Cow and they asked Sean if he could recommend some good live music to perform during the Cheese Festival. Thankfully, he recommended me. I'm always appreciative of an opportunity. But because it was the Cheese Festival, I didn't play in either of the normal locations on site. I ended up playing in a field, next to the parking lot, on a windy day, under a pop-up tent. And while there were some casual listeners, most people in the field area were there to get cheese, not necessarily to sit down and listen to music.

Now, I'm not an attention whore, but it does suck when I'm putting out energy and it's not coming back from the audience. Usually I rise to the occasion, with an “Oh yeah? Not paying attention to that? Well try THIS on for size!” attitude. But I was kind of barely holding on. I was on a tilted, lumpy surface, playing on a hill, and the wind kept blowing the dirt and dust from the parking lot into my space. So often when I took a breath, dust would get into my air, drying out my throat. I couldn't get enough water. I felt physically unsettled, and didn't have the energy to reach deep down to get people's attention. Because I felt uncomfortable, I got into my own head and didn't sing that well. I REALLY wanted a beer to calm myself down, but I stopped drinking in February of this year, I was 17 weeks dry at that point, and didn't want to ruin my streak. Even though I started out fine, I eventually felt like I wasn't giving what I should be giving, and certainly barely getting anything back from the Cheese-goers.

Sometimes, I'm just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or is it wrong place, right time? Or right place, wrong time? I don't know…

Whatever it was - the tiredness, the overpowering wind (which blew my merch out of my display case a few times before I finally gave up and shut the case), the lack of interest from passers-by, playing on an uneven surface… It just didn't feel right and I slogged through it. That's not the way I like to perform. I'm not a primadonna, but I like to be comfortable so I can give my best. I ALWAYS want to give my best. Sometimes, I guess the universe has other plans. Again, this show was not a reflection of Stone Cow Brewery, or even the Cheese Guild. I think I was a bit of a shoehorn in an otherwise successful event.

I feel like I let people down and let myself down for this one. Just being honest. But, that was just one day in a long summer.

-SA 7.22.26