THURSDAY, JAN. 4, 2024
2023 - Lots of challenges this year. Something I rarely talk about is the music/life balance of being an artist, parent, and husband. I know you're supposed to put this manufactured, bullshit presence of unicorns farting rainbows on social media, and I certainly don't want to bring anyone down with being REAL for god's sake, so I play the game. However, let me give you some real talk.
I've been at this music thing for quite some time. I've listened to people I shouldn't have, didn't listen to people I should have, got too caught up in drinking, chasing love, wasting time, being depressed, thought I was right when I was wrong, didn't spend time practicing, writing, or learning, and wasted a lot of time throughout my "earlier" years. To be fair, I made lots of friends, had a lot of positive experiences, opened up for Grammy winners, played big outdoor shows, made records, traveled, and did some other really cool things that I was fortunate enough to do. I feel like all of these experiences for the past 30+ years have brought me to a new starting line.
But here's the caveat - it's all harder now (It's all more meaningful now too, as you'll read). With 2 kids, a wife, 3 dogs, and a ton of other responsibilities, time is elusive. Time is the thing that matters most to me now. For the most part, you can earn the money back that you lost. But time? You can't get that back. In order to get more time, I wake up at 6:00am nearly every morning so I can have a little time to write my morning pages, stretch out for the day, mediate a little, and/or just check my email. After 7:00am, it's go time with life. I am SO incredibly fortunate to have a wife that understands that practicing, writing, emailing, making social media content (ugh) are important things I have to do behind the scenes in order to get the gigs that bring in some bread. Those things take up time, which battles against taking care of the dogs, bringing my daughter to school and picking her up, diaper changes, laundry, cleaning... you get it. And when I do get a chance to work on something, it is almost always guaranteed that I will be interrupted (I was interrupted three times while writing this already). After all the activties each day brings, it's 7:00pm or so, and the bedtime routines start. Then it's 9:00pm and I try to squeeze something else in that's music related. Then it's 10:00pm and I'd like to have some time with my wife other than verbal exchanges of "Does Lennon have a juice? Where's Nova's bottle?" Etc., etc.
I hope you gather from the above that time is extremely valuable to me. Not having enough time has literally made me depressed on several occasions this year. I get angry, sad, and jealous when I see people that have more time than me that are able to get more things done to advance their careers. Sometimes I feel like I'm the victim of a self-inflicted rat race I've created. I've tried to scale down to the most essential of activities, done just about everything I could think of to give myself more time, but there just never seems to be enough time.
Let me pause here to say two things. 1) This is not a "whoa is me post." Everyone's got their proverbial cross to bear. In no way do I think I have it "so bad." 2) My wife works her ass off and does a lot to make our lives better. She makes dinner almost every night, does a majority of putting the girls to bed, story time, etc. I just didn't want anyone thinking that I bear the brunt of domestic responsibilities. I don't. They are shared and we each do our part.
Okay, back to time. Time is also important to me beyond music. As I was eluding to a few paragraphs back, I want time with my wife and kids, too. As much as I want to be the best musician/performer/writer I can be, I also want to be the best husband and father I can be. I want to set a good example for my girls: what a significant other should be, how hard work, determination, discipline, and confidence will help you achieve your goals, show respect for other people. I also want to set the example for my girls that family is SO important. I need to be there for them as much as I can. I want to be the best husband I can be, so that Jenna and I never lose sight of the things that brought us together in the first place, and that we keep forging ahead through the good times and the bad times. It all takes effort. It all takes time. So the things I do with my time are much more meaningful to me now, as the limitations of my time dictate the importance of spending it wisely.
I hope to find new ways to get more time and more out of my time in 2024. It's on my list.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
May you receive many blessing in 2024. Happy New Year!
Love, -Seth